Hey. Sorry it has been so long. Quick recap of Dani’s life since August:
Moved in with Jennifer. We’re not dating.
Failing 18 credits.
Voluntary admission to the psych ward, where I slept better than I have in years.
Back to the real world, where I forget to take showers and stop eating, and Jennifer wants to date a coworker I’ve liked for a really long time.
Trying not to be bitter…about Jennifer drawing boundaries between us, or deciding he wants to date someone I really like. The heart wants?
I miss writing, but I feel like I have nothing to say. Everyone keeps trying to put me back together and I just want time to grapple with being broken. I just don’t know why everyone is in such a hurry for me to be “normal.” I’m just learning basic life lessons.
You shower because it makes you clean, not because it makes you clean for someone else.
I didn’t know that, before.
And I just want time to lie here among the shards of glass. See what they have to teach me about myself. Everyone else is in such a hurry to sweep the shards up, and get out the glue gun.
I just want time to hurt.