I am procrastinating, again. I should be doing any number of things. Meteorology homework (which sounds infinitely more awesome than it actually is), trying to make sense of the Church of My Childhood and its treatment of women, reading Steinbeck, watching The Glass Menagerie and writing about how weird it is (I feel like it’s one of those classics that remains a classic merely because we say it is), or even napping.
Nap sounds great. I’ve been awake all of 2.5 hours. 80 mg of caffeine have yet to transform into toothpicks to prop open my eyelids. I blame my meds for my drowsiness, but I think my high-stress lifestyle makes my brain and body perpetually yearn for a break.
Jennifer’s brother is getting married in six days. We’ve been attempting helpfulness, with little result. It will be interesting to see how everything comes together. I’ll get to meet Jennifer’s parents, and his youngest brother. I will then have officially met the immediate family entire. All 7+Jennifer of them. We’re not sure where Jennifer’s brother and sister-in-law-to-be are going to live. Jennifer’s family is lobbying for them to move in with Jennifer. He needs their rent money to help with the mortgage. The Bride wants to move in with her mother, and Groom doesn’t like to stir up contention.
Jennifer and I talked about the possibility of me moving in, depending on what happens with his brother. Last time I moved in with my best friend, it became the end of an 8-year adventure. Jennifer watched us crash and burn from the sidelines, and helped me pick up the pieces of myself when my roommate/former best friend decided I should move out. Jennifer and I don’t want that story to repeat itself. But he needs a roommate if his brother doesn’t stay here, and I stay here more than I stay at my own place. We’ll see what happens. There are more conversations to have before we reach a decision.
Jennifer and I sojourned up to the City this past week to have lunch with a professor. We went to local bar where I ate a wrap, Jennifer ate a burger, and our professor had a salad. Jennifer and I were pleasantly surprised with how relaxed we were while hanging out with this professor, with whom we have become good friends. We’re normally very anxious people.
I have managed to gain upwards of 30 pounds this summer–a situation that is lamentable insofar as it requires me to acquire new clothes. My already-short-and-stocky body is hard enough to clothe as it is. And I leave each store in a depressed and somewhat-emotional state. Until I remember that it could be worse. “First world” problems, I think they call them. Whoever “they” is.
Being in the middle of wedding planning has made me think about whether or not I’ll ever get married. Less thinking about the to-whom portion of that equation, and more of the where and what it will look like. My upbringing made manifest, right there. Being raised in a culture that inundates girls from a young age with the teachings that their worth is predicated on their ability to marry a certain type of man and bear him children results in wedding planning beginning sometime around age 7. At least, that’s how it was in my neighborhood. I’ve got my colors planned out. My menu. Lighting. Playlist. Dancing. Seating arrangements. Multiple venue options. Flowers. Other decorations. I can’t focus on my homework because I’m too busy planning an imaginary wedding.
And on that note, I should probably get some fuel in my system. Maybe that will help me wake up…
Bye for now.