Hi, World. I am terrible at introductions…my apologies. Um. Where to start? Name. I am Dani. I’m a student at an underrated state school, studying literature. Literature, rather. This morning, it deserves to be capitalized. I’m a terrible writer. You’ve probably gleaned that from my usage of “terrible” twice…three times, now…in the same paragraph. And my excessive inclusion of ellipses. Sorry about that.
I apologize a lot. People tell me not to. It’s unattractive. It undermines my purpose, whatever that purpose may be. I apologize for apologizing.
I like boxes. Drawers. Filing cabinets. Tupperware. I like to organize things. A ritualistic cleansing, of sorts. Life is messy, and I am a mess. Everything in its place? I am learning quickly that not every thing has a “place.” Some things have two places. Three. More. My life is composed of things that have nothing to do with one another, all of which are connected. Their place is inside my head, where I spend most of my time.
Yes. I spend most of my time inside my head. And I have spent most of my life trying to compartmentalize things. There are Family things. School things. Music things. Friend things. Unrequited Love things. Unrealized Dreams things. Anxiety And Depression things. Dead People things. Run Away With Me And Travel The World things. Get This Out Of My Head And On To Paper things. A lot of things. But these things do not stay in their boxes. They escape, and run around inside my brain. They free other things from their boxes, joining forces, creating alliances, all in cahoots against my sanity.
It’s a conspiracy.
Regardless, the things come and go from their “places” as they please. They connect. They break up. At times, they are torn apart. Or forced to sit in timeout with one another until they can behave and work together. Whatever goes on in the outside world, life is never boring, in here. Inside my head.
Would you like to come in?